Owning What You Make | I Got Keyser Söze’d by the U.S. Patent Office

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During my senior year of college I developed an idea for a bottle. I’d drawn it and modeled it as part of my technical illustration and 3D model classes. A few years later, it was suggested I should patent it. 12 years later I finally have enough time, money, and experience to see this project come to full fruition: a patented, licensed, marketed, mass-produced, and sold product. This miniseries, Owning What You Make, covers the highs and lows of when a graphic designer pursues product design.

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I don't want anyone to think I am badmouthing the USPTO. I criticize because I care.

In early January 2016, I decided to apply for a design patent with the U.S. Patent Office (USPTO), choosing to go it alone instead of paying an intellectual property (IP) attorney. This isn’t because I like torturously bureaucratic systems. It’s because many services offered are all-in-one, and marketed to people who just have an idea: basically, get your invention drawn and patented all at once. In my case, I already had the technical drawings. I had some sense of how it would be constructed and handled. And being a Howard University graduate/receiving a travel visa to Brazil at the last minute, made me pretty qualified to handle a difficult process without throwing money at it when it got too difficult.

In early June 2016, I submitted a portion of my design to the USPTO: A filing fee and some black and white technical illustrations. I knew I would need to submit the remaining forms and fees at a later time, and awaited an official receipt from the USPTO.

A couple of weeks later, I received a letter from the USPTO with an application number and confirmation number. The letter also said I had an incomplete application and a list of things I needed to submit to complete the application within two months.

In order to avoid a $400 penalty (to reduce paper), I needed to become a registered user to complete my application online. To do that, I needed two things: A customer number and a digital certificate.

First, I filled out a PDF requesting a customer number and faxed it to the USPTO. About a week later, I received the customer number in the mail. Now I needed to request a digital certificate. The request for a digital certificate required a notarized form that included my customer number. It took me about a week to get this done.

After that was submitted, I expected to receive via email two more things: An authorization code and a reference number.

More than a week had gone by before I got an authorization code, via email. However more than 48 hours later, I still didn’t receive a reference number, as promised. I called the USPTO hotline and got an incredibly understanding agent. I gave him my full name, email, and the last four digits of the authorization code. Then he gave me the reference number (A day later, I received the reference number in the mail.).

Have you kept up with all the various numbers and codes I need?

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UX is different that UI and it would be better to redesign the content to navigate more like similar products designed to help an individual navigate a detail-oriented process.

The End that Reveals the Beginning

By mid-August 2016, I was ready to become a registered user on USPTO.

My first attempt was on Google Chrome. Java was not enabled.

My second attempt was on Safari. Java was not enabled.

After I downloaded Java for Mac, dusted off Firefox, I called the USPTO hotline again. Another extremely patient agent walked me through the entry process. I submitted the registration number and authorization code.

Then I needed to create an .EPF file (generated by the site and acts as the digital certificate) and a password (this also generated a set of 7 passcodes to use in case I forgot my password).

Now that I have a .EPF file and a password, I can see my partial application from a few months ago. And do you know what needed to fill out the rest? Do you know what I need every time I log in to EFS-web? The APPLICATION NUMBER and CONFIRMATION NUMBER! FROM TWO MONTHS AGO!

The customer number, notarized form, authorization code, reference number, 7 passcodes, 6 1/2 weeks of faxing PDFs, waiting by the mail…irrelevant now. It’s as if I was an investigator and the USPTO was Keyser Söze; weaving this incredibly convoluted story in front of me, then walking off with a good portion of my dignity.

THIS KAFKAESQUE MESS, AND OTHER LESSONS LEARNED

I don’t want anyone to think I am badmouthing the USPTO. I criticize because I care.

But the USPTO revels in a kind of bureaucracy I thought had gone the way of the Dodo and Tyga’s career. And being the designer I am, I want to dismantle the communication problems, and — assuming they aren’t already working on this — figure out improvements.

1. Whatever money was invested in a better website was put into the most patient customer service ever. Seriously, these people need to work for Time Warner Cable or Verizon. Homeboy sat with me on the phone quietly and patiently for several minutes until I felt comfortable with this horribly outdated tool. That’s great, but not the best use of government resources. With that said…

2. USPTO should be more invested in user experience (UX) of their website, not user interface (UI). The information architecture of USPTO’s website seems to be more interested in its homepage looking pleasing (clean type, nice columns), rather than if there is an ease of use throughout the application process. UX is different that UI and it would be better to redesign the content to navigate more like similar products designed to help an individual navigate a detail-oriented process. H&R Block or TurboTax: Sites that create a choose-your-adventure style of navigation that narrows choices, focuses on your specific requirements, and offers a question icon spoken in plain language.

3. The website is written for IP lawyers, not everyday people. I studied Classics so I can understand a big ol’ nasty piece of jargon-heavy, over-contextualized text. But if you’ve written instructions only someone with a Juris Doctor can understand, reassess whether or not you actually want to work for the public.

4. Reduce the number of steps required to verify an applicant before completing the application. This will cut your paper process too. The USPTO put me through a level of hazing that — while archaic — did not prevent me from submitting an application. So I don’t know who these levels of inconvenience are for. I just needed a username, password, application number, and confirmation number, to register. And of all things that need to be notarized, one of those should be the actual application itself.

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It's as if I was an investigator and the USPTO was Keyser Söze; weaving this incredibly convoluted story in front of me, then walking off with a good portion of my dignity.

Owning A Patent is Like Owning a Home

To date, the patent application has been submitted. It is being examined and searched. It usually takes within a calendar year for a patent to be issued. At this point in the process, I’ve already learned that owning a patent is like owning a home: It’s an asset you can claim, and hopefully over time build wealth from.

I am in a unique situation. I grew up in a house, but I am not a fan of homeownership. Instead, I choose to rent, and own a diverse stock portfolio. But I am a designer. I make things for a living. And while I can take credit for what I’ve made, I’ve yet to profit directly from something I’ve created. This is my opportunity to make money from something I’ve made, and not simply be paid to make someone else’s ideas. But doing so will take some work, not unlike buying a home.

In the next entry, I’ll cover what it takes to get a prototype. In short, get some help.

Owning What You Make, covers the highs and lows of when a graphic designer pursues industrial design.